So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
