We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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