a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i now understand why vodka
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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