But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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