I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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