4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
