feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
