I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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