yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
