You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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