i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
