he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
