When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
