I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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