dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
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