So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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