I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
