Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
