hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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