No period for spring break; use this wisely.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
