So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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