I must be too annoying 4 u.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
