yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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