In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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