I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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