On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize