dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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