I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
