u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
