Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I need to sanitize my soul.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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