i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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