Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
