He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
