So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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