been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
