We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.