is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.