Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.