This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I touched a dick in church today
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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