There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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