So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
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Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
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I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.