shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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