moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize