I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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