My brain says no but my pants say off.
no, he came in my armpit
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
How external is "for external use only"?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
