I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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