THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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