the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
