I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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