i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
she looked like the before picture.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
