sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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