i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
