Tell her she can't have a vagina
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
