so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i love accidental penises.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
