I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize