He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He shit in the fireplace
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
