brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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