I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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