Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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