I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
