i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
