i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
