he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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