You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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