Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
