I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
