I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
