Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just come out here and I will go home with you...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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