just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
